


A Shoulder to Cry On

by Hero_addicted



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Hood/Arsenal (Comics)
Genre: Depression, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I Don't Even Know, Sad, Smoking, Suicidal Thoughts, after ending of red hood and arsenal, jayroy is you squint, mentioned Joker's daugther, mentioned Roy Harper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-07
Updated: 2016-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 02:30:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7416073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hero_addicted/pseuds/Hero_addicted
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jason just left Roy and is sulking on the rooftop. Dick finds him and invites him to come to the manor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Shoulder to Cry On

“I thought you quit smoking”

“I did”

“The allure of the cigarette too much for you to resist” Dick tried to joke. Jason turned away and Dick could see his shoulders shaking. He coughed to try to cover up the shaking in his shoulders. “Hey are you alright?”

Jason didn’t reply or turn to look at Dick. His shoulders were still shaking. Was he crying? He dropped the cigarette and crushed it under his shoe. He was leaving. He was expecting to spend the night alone. Not be found by agent 37 or Nightwing. 

Now he has to find somewhere new to skulk. Today was bad enough having to break it off with his best friend. Sure Roy annoyed the crap out of him, but he stuck around. Their relationship was weird but it was something. He never really had friends until he got to meet Kori and Roy. Kori went to Miami for herself and he couldn’t be happier for her. Roy he left him there…it’s for the best they both need to clear their heads. 

Jason cleared his head by brooding on the rooftop, like everybody else that’s more or less associated with the batman. Jason falls back on his habit he kicked after coming back from the dead, he smokes. 

He misses Roy. He’s a pain in the ass and annoys him to no end, but he surprises him with the craziest shit. Maybe for a second he felt the slightest bit of joy? When a crowd bellow him was cheering for him. Of course the inkling of self-confidence was buried under the pain of a fucking arrow shot through his shoulder, but when he was pulled up and got a look at the “Rent a Bat” billboard.

He was first irritated at the fact that Roy spent god knows how much of their money for the thing and laughing internally at the call number spelling out red arse. Arse coming from Arsenal but it seems fitting for Roy, except he was the only one on the billboard. He was the red arse. He shook his head at it. Fucking hell. 

Sure they were different but the same; maybe in another…life he could have been more like Roy. At least he still has hope in people. He still had a fuck to give.

Though the break up with Roy wasn’t the only thing bothering him. Actually there are a lot of things wrong with him that he just stuffs down deep and ignores. Though right now he’s too tired and dejected to keep it from bubbling up. Right now he can’t get angry or shoot his feelings away. 

He feels like such a fucking idiot. His best friend nearly died, god he wouldn’t know what to do if he actually did die, all because he let the Joker’s daughter live. The joker like him screwed her up in the head. She hid behind the joker’s mask like him. She was just a fucked up individual like him. He thought she could use a second chance, like him…

When he looked at joker’s daughter he saw someone who needed help, someone who might be able to be saved from crazy. Maybe he and Roy weren’t the right people she needed. 

As he went to help Roy from the call to kill vote and seeing his face battered from torture a chill ran through his spine. At the time he wrote it off as fear and guilt for his friend. When he held a gun to JD’s head he saw the Joker he wouldn’t have hesitated to kill her at that moment if Roy didn’t interfere. But after walking away and stepping over JD’s unconscious body he felt sick to his stomach. The feeling only got worse since then. 

“Hey Jason are you alright?” Oh right Dick was still there “I’m here if you need someone to talk to”

Here he was sitting on a roof ledge feeling suicidal. Not that he would actually take his own life, he got a second life to fuck up and he’s got to go big or go home. He gives out an empty chuckle. Despite what he’s sure of, it doesn’t make him feel any less miserable.

“Sure, I guess there’s a lot talk about” Dick probably was eager to know more about him. He’s sure a shrink would love to write a book about him. Hell he’s not even sure he’s okay with admitting to himself a few of his insecurities. Dick just waited for him to open up. 

He pulled out another cigarette and plays with it in his fingers “We didn’t really talk much when I was robin”

“Well I guess we didn’t ” He swallowed the lump in his throat and quickly lit the cigarette in his fingers just watching it burn for a bit but not putting it between his lips yet. 

“Did I deserve to die?” there it was silence. Dick was shocked he had nothing to say to that.

“Sorry never mind I didn’t mean to drop something like that on you” He took back the question and put the cigarette to his mouth. He put his lighter in his pocket and kept his face hidden away from Dick. He considers putting the red helmet back on but he’d then have to put out another cigarette. He hated waste. 

“No!” Dick blurted. Jason casually blew out smoke and shivered. He loved and hated the sight of smoke. “Nobody blames you for dying”

He finds that hard to believe especially with the memorial in the bat cave. A sign to other robin to not be like this dead fuck up. Not that he really needed the reassurance. Especially nnot rfom the guy that was more than happy to send him to Arkham where the Joker reigned supreme. 

“If Bruce was himself right now-“

“You know why I’m smoking?” Dick stopped and looked at him curiously. He moved a bit further into the darkness in case his hoodie didn’t quite cover his face enough. He swallowed “Because it reminds me what it was like to die” his voice was cracking. The feeling in his stomach grew. “On my certificate of death my cause of death as asphyxiation on smoke”

“Jason” Dick reached out for the cigarette and snatched it away. He let him.

“It reminds me, not yet” he felt small for the first time in forever. He breathes in and shudders “Not yet” 

Dick wanted nothing more than to reach out and reassure him everything was okay but what came out instead was “What’s really bothering you?” Jason was nothing if not stubborn ecen as a robin so what could have gotten him so rattled to spill his guts like this.

“Some stuff happened that struck a nerve I’m fine”

“After that confession?”

“I’m not gonna just kill myself”

“You just admitted you would have without the cigarette”

“This is stupid” He picks up his helmet about to cover his face and Dick grabs his arm and spin him to face him.

Jason is crying. 

He never thought he’d ever see something like that. He was sure the world had to implode seven times before this moment. Did some die? Did Jason care about anybody for him to be torn up about his or her absence? Did something happen to Alfred? No way. He would be alerted immediately.

“Let’s go to the manor you look tired and we can talk there”

Jason swallowed and nodded. His eyes were red and puffy and his cheeks were wet. He rubbed the tears off his face and followed him.

**Author's Note:**

> If you like this story and you'd like to see more, comment.


End file.
